I am sure you heard a song named 'Wake me up when September ends'. This is what I felt and feel like telling people when I knew what I have planned before for September/October is not going to happened. Because I can't accept what I have been doing. I have never imagine myself sleeping at home and doing nothing or doing something that I don't like. That is so not me! Then during October, I selfishly change this song name to 'Wake me up when October ends'; because the situation is still the same. Then November; and now its December. Finally, I have to wake up and do what I need to do after sleeping for few months!
December it is! Few months back, when my friends ask me about my job hunting, I would be speechless and have no answers. Its not that I have no interviews or what, its just the matter of when should I go (and guess its the lamest reason ever in the world!). Overall, I have rejected a consulting job interview, an advertising consultant job interview, and at least five production job interviews; which two of them did not require me to undergone an interview but just start working right way. You can check my gmail account sent folder to prove that this is no joke. People would go for all the interviews to see if they have any luck with any of them but I have postponed or rejected (whatever it is,its the same) all of them. Until end of October, when I was 'half awake' I made a decision that I told myself no matter what, I am not going to change and postponed it anymore. November, a new beginning, I applied few jobs in Singapore and I got two interviews. Of course, I went both. And I got one of them. So if you understand mathematics, you can count, what are the possibilities of me getting at least a job from those that I have rejected. You tell me.
I have wasted few months for sleeping,eating,playing,watching tv,travelling,shopping,movies,etc. And now! Its time to wake up. However, this is different. I need to be far more independent as I am moving to a country that not many friends of mine are there. I have to fly by my own, look for a place to stay by my own, go to work by my own, have brunch, dinner by my own, etc until I have new friends again. Its challenging! I am all excited for all these but in the same time feeling sad to leave because I am not sure until when I will be back again. Moving to another country/city is definitely not that easy but its also considered as a life transformation that everyone has to go through.
Anyways, live moves on. I need to pursue what I wanted to achieve and I need to leave home and to be independent. I'll miss my family and friends that is for sure. And I'll miss the town that I've live in for 23 years and slept for the few months!
I'll miss you Kota Kinabalu! Good bye and take care!
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Sunday, 24 October 2010
very bellie
Everything seem still very depressing for me now. Especially few days ago where I felt like I was so 'silly' and 'stupid' all this while. So, I chose not to update especially about how depressing everything was/is.
The only thing I can update now is that. I seem to be very relax now that I'm a little bit scared. Scared that I will continue to be relax and ended up delay my plan to go work.
Another thing,sometimes I do feel like asking people, am I that 'good'? As in, you will think of me when you need help; mentally or physically. Because you know as a friend, no matter what, I'll be there for you. So you can find me anytime. But when you do not need me, you'll just forget about anything? Or,am I too 'good' that no matter what happened,you will think of me, to sort of; sorry to say. To use me. Perhaps that's true when one of my friends used to say that; there are friends where they will only think of you when they need you. And they take things for granted.
Whatever, guess our parents; they are always right. No one will treat you whole heartedly except yourself. As sometimes I'm selfish too.
Next! The only and main thing that I keep on 'emphasize' these days. About how wavy my hair is. Yes, my hair is very really extremely wavy! Wavy is sexy?Yes. But sometimes it makes me looked like one of those that do not care about my image. In Cantonese, they called that 'leh feh'. To be precise, we called it 'too cincai'. However, sometimes it does look good on me! Damn. Now I don't know if I should trim and keep it wavy or trim and make it straight AGAIN.
The only thing I can update now is that. I seem to be very relax now that I'm a little bit scared. Scared that I will continue to be relax and ended up delay my plan to go work.
Another thing,sometimes I do feel like asking people, am I that 'good'? As in, you will think of me when you need help; mentally or physically. Because you know as a friend, no matter what, I'll be there for you. So you can find me anytime. But when you do not need me, you'll just forget about anything? Or,am I too 'good' that no matter what happened,you will think of me, to sort of; sorry to say. To use me. Perhaps that's true when one of my friends used to say that; there are friends where they will only think of you when they need you. And they take things for granted.
Whatever, guess our parents; they are always right. No one will treat you whole heartedly except yourself. As sometimes I'm selfish too.
Next! The only and main thing that I keep on 'emphasize' these days. About how wavy my hair is. Yes, my hair is very really extremely wavy! Wavy is sexy?Yes. But sometimes it makes me looked like one of those that do not care about my image. In Cantonese, they called that 'leh feh'. To be precise, we called it 'too cincai'. However, sometimes it does look good on me! Damn. Now I don't know if I should trim and keep it wavy or trim and make it straight AGAIN.
Monday, 27 September 2010
you or me?
"...you never do what you said you going to do..."
"...which means you did not keep your promise..."
You said that to me. And I asked, "that's you or me?".
"...which means you did not keep your promise..."
You said that to me. And I asked, "that's you or me?".
Saturday, 25 September 2010
physically vs. mentally
"... even though I'm not there with you physically, mentally I'm there; to support you."
"...but sometimes we do need that person to be physically around us right?"
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Well, yes! That point is so right. Well said.
That's the difference between being there physically and mentally for a person. Although we know that we could always be there for each other (as in mentally) even we are not physically with them; supporting them no matter what, be there for them no matter what,and praying for them is the only thing we can do. Yet, sometimes, we do need them to be around physically. To talk to them personally. To know more what happened; even you know you can't do anything, but at least being there with them could make each other feel better.
Guess, we still need to be more stronger.
"...but sometimes we do need that person to be physically around us right?"
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Well, yes! That point is so right. Well said.
That's the difference between being there physically and mentally for a person. Although we know that we could always be there for each other (as in mentally) even we are not physically with them; supporting them no matter what, be there for them no matter what,and praying for them is the only thing we can do. Yet, sometimes, we do need them to be around physically. To talk to them personally. To know more what happened; even you know you can't do anything, but at least being there with them could make each other feel better.
Guess, we still need to be more stronger.
Friday, 17 September 2010
fuhhh
I talked to my beloved former housemate yesterday night and I just realized that time flies and next week is already the second tuition free week in uni; if I'm still studying. To be precise, next Saturday is already 25th September; its the end of the month!
I suppose I'm leaving soon for work. Around next week,or next next week, or next next next week. Somehow I feel a little bit emo when I think of leaving home. Its the same feeling when I fist leave for uni four years ago! damn. In such such a little,but not too little nor too long time, I have so much things to do before I leave!
Things to do:
1. Undone portfolio
2. Medical report
3. Application for other jobs
4. Settling the NS thingy!
5. Unpack the other boxes that I brought home from Miri
6. Repair/reformat my laptop
7. Possibilities of accommodation in KL
8. 'Repair' my hair!
9. Get my Lumix!
10.Go to the beach!
11.Hang out with friends
12.Shopping
Lalalala number 10 to 12 is not that important but the top 4 is really important. Gosh. Time, go slower please.
I suppose I'm leaving soon for work. Around next week,or next next week, or next next next week. Somehow I feel a little bit emo when I think of leaving home. Its the same feeling when I fist leave for uni four years ago! damn. In such such a little,but not too little nor too long time, I have so much things to do before I leave!
Things to do:
1. Undone portfolio
2. Medical report
3. Application for other jobs
4. Settling the NS thingy!
5. Unpack the other boxes that I brought home from Miri
6. Repair/reformat my laptop
7. Possibilities of accommodation in KL
8. 'Repair' my hair!
9. Get my Lumix!
10.Go to the beach!
11.Hang out with friends
12.Shopping
Lalalala number 10 to 12 is not that important but the top 4 is really important. Gosh. Time, go slower please.
Thursday, 16 September 2010
Ta Da!
Currently our house is having some painting activities. The whole house looks new and bright! yet I'm like having flu everyday; because I'm extremely sensitive to that smell!
I woke up early yesterday because the workers are going to paint my room.I watched tv the whole morning and I fall asleep for at least two hours in the afternoon. Then I missed a call. I called back. It was from a company that I've requested for a phone interview earlier on. Thinking back,it was almost three weeks ago and I thought that are not going to call me back.
Below, part of the conversation:
Mr.T : ...I will tell the HR to ranged your salary between rm1500 to rm1800. But it depends on your living expenses too la.
Ju : Okay.
Mr.T : Then you just let me know when are you coming,we'll do a quick meet up and youcan start working. Hmmm,where are you planning to stay? (something like that)
Ju : I'm not really sure yet. But I'll figure it out soon.
Mr.T : Okay, then you just give me a call when you are in KL. Settle yourself first,that is the important one. Then we'll meet up and show you the office.
Ju :Okay, I'll inform you about the date I'm going.
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So, does that mean I got the job already? A friend told me, it sounds like I got the job already. Well, I still need to keep on applying for others because..yea. Well, at least now I'm half employed I guess and I'm quite interested with the job description given. So maybe I should just try and work first :)
I woke up early yesterday because the workers are going to paint my room.I watched tv the whole morning and I fall asleep for at least two hours in the afternoon. Then I missed a call. I called back. It was from a company that I've requested for a phone interview earlier on. Thinking back,it was almost three weeks ago and I thought that are not going to call me back.
Below, part of the conversation:
Mr.T : ...I will tell the HR to ranged your salary between rm1500 to rm1800. But it depends on your living expenses too la.
Ju : Okay.
Mr.T : Then you just let me know when are you coming,we'll do a quick meet up and youcan start working. Hmmm,where are you planning to stay? (something like that)
Ju : I'm not really sure yet. But I'll figure it out soon.
Mr.T : Okay, then you just give me a call when you are in KL. Settle yourself first,that is the important one. Then we'll meet up and show you the office.
Ju :Okay, I'll inform you about the date I'm going.
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So, does that mean I got the job already? A friend told me, it sounds like I got the job already. Well, I still need to keep on applying for others because..yea. Well, at least now I'm half employed I guess and I'm quite interested with the job description given. So maybe I should just try and work first :)
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Its September and...
Its September and Julia misses her uni life.Last year,today,she's still studying in uni. This year,today,now,she's blogging and feeling somewhat miserable about her current life. Somehow,she really wish she's still studying. That she doesn't have to think about her future,work,etc; at least not that soon. Thinking back,when she just started uni,she wondered how can she pass through that four years, stuck at that place. Now she thinks,maybe she shouldn't think that way last time. Maybe because she thinks that way so God made her time go faster. Who knows now she would miss that place that she used to called it 'that bloody place' and her friends there.
Its September and Julia doesn't feel good, at all. Last year, this month, she was still wondering how can she pass through September. September oh September, it brought her so much memories. From making two birthday cards to only one. Now,maybe she doesn't have to do that anymore.Last year June was so hard because she lost something really really precious in her life.As precious as her own life. It was during her study week and she really thought of giving up and if it is not because her housemate pushing her and make sure she's studying instead of feeling sad all the time, she would have failed the entire course for that semester. But who knows September that year was as hard as June; because it brought back so many images and memories. Only by thinking of those memories and images, it could make her felt so heartbroken and sometimes she feels like she could just die of heartbroken.
Its September and Julia is scared. This year September,she tried not to think that much. As if she's avoiding herself to think of what happened. She's scared of the feeling of being heartbroken because sometimes it is so pain that it would make her feel hard to breath! So she keeps on finding things to busy herself with. Yes,she has decided to reject the interviews AGAIN. So far,its the fifth companies that she has rejected for interviews; if that's what you wondering. Settling in the west this end of September with a friend of hers, is the current plan. That is why this year she will not make her friend birthday card because she can tell her Happy Birthday herself. Though she's not sure if she could still get opportunities like this even she's in KL that time. She does believe things happen for reasons. Maybe she would get a better opportunity, who knows?
Its September and Julia is in dilemma. A friend of hers offered her place to stay during her interview period, only after she has somehow decided to let go that chance and try to stop thinking the same matter again and again that has bothering her since a day before yesterday. She did not call the company yesterday to tell them she's not going for interview but she thought of telling them this morning. Then this friend offered her place to stay at night, before this morning. Then she think of this 'everything happens for reasons'; so is this the reason?That she should go?That she has not called the company,it happens for this, this offer?Telling her that she should go?Why?Why only when she has decided to let go this chance and decided to move there end of this September?This thing is back again bothering her. Just when she felt like she needs to talk but she doesn't know who to talk to, a close friend of hers called. They talked a lot but she still can't make any decision. Well, at least she felt better and somehow relief after talking to her friend. This morning,she woke up,she sat on her bed for almost 10 minutes,thinking what should she do for the entire of the day.She isn't sure if she should call or just text the company.Yes,somehow she has decided.To follow the plan,to go KL end of this month and stay there while looking for jobs.Though she doesn't know which company she can send her resume to,though she's not sure if she would get the same opportunities like now, though she has so much not sure and blah,though she feels upset to let go the chance again, though she still find it hard and unbelievable that she is doing this, she got no choice.
Its September and Julia feels lonely. She always wonder, what would you tell her to do if you are still here. She always wonder, if you would give her some advice and guideline if you are still here. She always wonder, if you would scold her for letting go so many opportunities, if you are still here. But she always know, if you are still here, she wouldn't feel that lonely and empty as she knows she can always talk to you about anything. She always wonder, how would things be now if you are still around with them. She has so much things to tell you.
Its September and Julia is still jobless. Hows that? Its September and Julia has let go at least five interviews and possibly working chances; that's sad. Its September and Julia is no longer studying; that's u.n.e.m.p.l.o.y.e.d. Its September and Julia has so many things to do until the end of the month comes; that's good.
Its September and Julia hopes October is going to be better.
Its September and Julia thinks this is going to be the longest post for this month. Hopefully, shorter means not much complains or simply, speechless. No complains she hopes.
Its September and Julia doesn't feel good, at all. Last year, this month, she was still wondering how can she pass through September. September oh September, it brought her so much memories. From making two birthday cards to only one. Now,maybe she doesn't have to do that anymore.Last year June was so hard because she lost something really really precious in her life.As precious as her own life. It was during her study week and she really thought of giving up and if it is not because her housemate pushing her and make sure she's studying instead of feeling sad all the time, she would have failed the entire course for that semester. But who knows September that year was as hard as June; because it brought back so many images and memories. Only by thinking of those memories and images, it could make her felt so heartbroken and sometimes she feels like she could just die of heartbroken.
Its September and Julia is scared. This year September,she tried not to think that much. As if she's avoiding herself to think of what happened. She's scared of the feeling of being heartbroken because sometimes it is so pain that it would make her feel hard to breath! So she keeps on finding things to busy herself with. Yes,she has decided to reject the interviews AGAIN. So far,its the fifth companies that she has rejected for interviews; if that's what you wondering. Settling in the west this end of September with a friend of hers, is the current plan. That is why this year she will not make her friend birthday card because she can tell her Happy Birthday herself. Though she's not sure if she could still get opportunities like this even she's in KL that time. She does believe things happen for reasons. Maybe she would get a better opportunity, who knows?
Its September and Julia is in dilemma. A friend of hers offered her place to stay during her interview period, only after she has somehow decided to let go that chance and try to stop thinking the same matter again and again that has bothering her since a day before yesterday. She did not call the company yesterday to tell them she's not going for interview but she thought of telling them this morning. Then this friend offered her place to stay at night, before this morning. Then she think of this 'everything happens for reasons'; so is this the reason?That she should go?That she has not called the company,it happens for this, this offer?Telling her that she should go?Why?Why only when she has decided to let go this chance and decided to move there end of this September?This thing is back again bothering her. Just when she felt like she needs to talk but she doesn't know who to talk to, a close friend of hers called. They talked a lot but she still can't make any decision. Well, at least she felt better and somehow relief after talking to her friend. This morning,she woke up,she sat on her bed for almost 10 minutes,thinking what should she do for the entire of the day.She isn't sure if she should call or just text the company.Yes,somehow she has decided.To follow the plan,to go KL end of this month and stay there while looking for jobs.Though she doesn't know which company she can send her resume to,though she's not sure if she would get the same opportunities like now, though she has so much not sure and blah,though she feels upset to let go the chance again, though she still find it hard and unbelievable that she is doing this, she got no choice.
Its September and Julia feels lonely. She always wonder, what would you tell her to do if you are still here. She always wonder, if you would give her some advice and guideline if you are still here. She always wonder, if you would scold her for letting go so many opportunities, if you are still here. But she always know, if you are still here, she wouldn't feel that lonely and empty as she knows she can always talk to you about anything. She always wonder, how would things be now if you are still around with them. She has so much things to tell you.
Its September and Julia is still jobless. Hows that? Its September and Julia has let go at least five interviews and possibly working chances; that's sad. Its September and Julia is no longer studying; that's u.n.e.m.p.l.o.y.e.d. Its September and Julia has so many things to do until the end of the month comes; that's good.
Its September and Julia hopes October is going to be better.
Its September and Julia thinks this is going to be the longest post for this month. Hopefully, shorter means not much complains or simply, speechless. No complains she hopes.
Monday, 6 September 2010
Clueless
There's one company called me this morning. The producer told me that she needs man power for one of her projects. I told her that I'm still in KK and the fastest for me to be in KL would be after Raya; which means next week as I have stuff that I need to settle first. She then told me she needs people now, as in now. She then asked me to arrange my time and let her know as soon as possible when can I be in KL.
Then after lunch, I checked my mail. There is another company that asked if I would be in KL in anytime soon. Said they are interested to have a chat with me.
Then I think,can I go soon? Where am I suppose to stay since this two company located in two different locations. Damn
At this moment, I am seriously clueless. Jobless is really a scary thing and it makes you crazy. But then, having some opportunities, would make you clueless too. Isn't this pathetic and silly?
Then after lunch, I checked my mail. There is another company that asked if I would be in KL in anytime soon. Said they are interested to have a chat with me.
Then I think,can I go soon? Where am I suppose to stay since this two company located in two different locations. Damn
At this moment, I am seriously clueless. Jobless is really a scary thing and it makes you crazy. But then, having some opportunities, would make you clueless too. Isn't this pathetic and silly?
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